Yesterday was the last day of Hannah's Junior year of High School. Can you even believe that? Remember when she was just a cute little monkey who wanted to ride horses and play Spyro and have a jungle safari in the back yard? Maybe not, but I do. Like it was yesterday.
This is the last summer I get to be full time mom, so I'm going to try to make it super fun. Summer to remember. I thought starting it with the lunch buffet at India Palace would be a good start. It was.
Next up on the summer of fun calendar? Sunday night at Union Station in KC for an outdoor performance by the symphony, followed by fireworks from Liberty Memorial. When I was younger and lived in Kansas City I went about once a year to year the symphony play on the yard of the Nelson (back then I think it the Atkins part was still in the name). And the best fireworks I ever saw were at Liberty Memorial on the forth of July one year while the symphony played. There's something about listening to beautiful music in a beautiful natural setting. I think we'll have a good time. It's me, Hannah and her tree, Forrest. I hope Alan will go along as well but I'm thinking it's kinda doubt.
Last weekend I bought new flowers at the farmer's market. Last night I realized I hadn't taken any pictures of it. I took several very bad shots. When I buy my next camera, high on the list of necessary will be ability to shoot in low light and good macro features.
I may have abandoned my former long time website, the groovegarden, but I have not forgotten it. I imagine it will be go slowing, like most gardens, but will eventually become completely new and... complete. Last night I sat down to draw some of the flowers I plan to scan in and decorate with. We'll see how it works.
i have had some super good news for a while now. At first it was a secret and I couldn't share, and then when I had permission I wasn't sure how to effectively share how profoundly excited I am.My sister Megan is going to have a baby.
I have not been around a baby on a regular basis since Hannah was a baby. I do have a nephew, named Matthew, but I don't see him or his mom (my step-sister Traci) very often at all. My half brother Jared and his wife Rachel are expecting a baby very soon, but they live in Nebraska and I imagine I won't see that niece/nephew much either.
So not only will it be the first time I've gotten to know a baby in a long time, it will be the first time I get to be a full on Auntie, with lots of baby sitting and throwing showers and maybe even in the hospital room. She is going to be a single mom and I am excited to step in and help out. I am also excited that I will get to go full on auntie before I am a grandma. It's something I've worried about. Just a little.
It's Megan's baby, of course, but it effects and changes our whole family. And that is what is so exciting. Of course the baby stuff kicks ass, but it's really the thought of this whole new person coming to join us and I wonder what they'll be like that's the best part. I'm so excited to meet this baby! And get to know it and take it places and watch it grow. Just like I did with Hannah but it'll be so much easier because it's not my baby. I'll just be the exciting auntie.
He will be Jack if he's a boy, and Jill if she's a girl (but we'll call her Jilly). I plan to try to help expose him or her to as many things as possible in this big amazing world. Of course I'll sneak in lots of travel and art and history bits. Megan will be a grade school teacher so I'm sure she will insist on lots of reading and proper grammar. This baby will rock.
So now you know. I finally got to share my most exciting news. Hooray for Megan and hooray for her new baby. It's scheduled to arrive December 15; ten days before xmas, 3 days (I think) before Megan's graduation from Emporia State, and 11 days after me, Hannah, Brian and Karen get back from Disney World. Poor Jack or Jill will be a christmas baby. But he or she will be so super loved I don't think he or she will mind.
Hurry up baby! 204 more days!!
I always think about getting a po box. I've had one a couple times and it's always been a great idea. Today, while I was at the PO mailing boring paper work, I decided to try one again. So for at least the next 6 months, I'm a girl with a PO box. Dig me.
If you'd like to trade mail art or atcs or mix tapes or anything with me, I would love to.
Shelly. PoBox 3606. Lawrence, KS 66046-3606.
I took these pictures in downtown Lawrence while Alan and I were checking out some garage sales last weekend.
I have fallen behind in writing words and showing pictures here. Life gets busy and personal projects seem to be the first to go. I haven't worked on re-establishing the groovegarden in a couple months I think. I hope things will start going more smoothly after school is out (tomorrow) and summer routine falls into place. I'm looking forward to this summer. I think Hannah and I are going to do a lot of fun things.
Several months ago, a long time friend of the GrooveGarden commented on a picture I posted of old journals on a shelf. He suggested that when I didn't have anything to post, I grab an old journal, open randomly and post. I thought it was a brilliant idea, although I've altered it a little: I read through the entry and make sure it's beyond embarrassing before I decide to post it.
Hey, this song 'You' has been stuck in my brain. And I just turned on MTV and there it is. Wild. Candlebox. That's who sings it.
I was in the study trying to be creative, but it just wasn't working. And I decided I needed a journal session. So here I am.
Of course I have just about nothing to say.
That's probably not really true.
I've got lots to say. I just don't know how to get to it and how to get it out.
On the surface, of course are things like I hope I get to the PO soon. Hannah seems to be feeling better. And today she just laid down on the floor and went to sleep.
And right under the surface are things like why did I waste so many years of my life? All those cult years. Just gone. Wasted. Forever.
And why can't I just accept that and go on?
I don't know, but I just can't.
[I have the majorest crush on the Counting Crowes boy.]
[I feels this... something... the creativity... this power... stiring, straining just below the surface! Come out! Come out! Come on out!]
And I think - I started getting RubberStamp Madness magazine way back when we still lived in the apartment. Why didn't I use all that time to grow and develop ME!? What did I do with all that time? All those years?
Sat here on the couch and watched TV.
Sat at the computer and red NetNews.
So thanks to advice from my momma, I've been trying to think of/remember what was different about my life long ago when I was happy.
The biggest majorest thing, I think - I'm sure - is I was around people all the time.
I mean think about high school - I would never be one to say that those were the best days of my, or anyone's, life. But there were great parts. When else in your life do you get to spend 5 days a week with your best friends? How many interpersonal interactions happen in a typical school day?
You see your friends. And people you don't know. And all those in between. Boys you have crushes on. Teachers who think you're smart - or a pain in the butt. You write notes, daydream out the window, hang out under the stage.
So that's one thing.
I also lived with my family. More people to interact with, and my mom to always tell me - always encourage me.
And some more:
* I always listened to music.
* I thought I was attractive and flirted with boys all the time
* I had tons of free time.
* The world was my oyster. I had no limits, no responsibilities. All my options were open, I thought I could do anything.
* I had time to be alone.
Hmm I don't know how to describe it but there was just a sense of freedom - life was an adventure. Something to be enjoyed. Lived to the fullest. I want that back!
I also had a freedom to be silly. I did outrageous and crazy things.
I'd like to get back to that, too. Balanced with a bit more maturity/responsibility, of course.
I also need need need to stop watching so much tv. It really does eat my brain. If I hafta watch something I need to rent movies, not watch mindless talk shows and stupid soap operas.
And I need to get more dressed/ready.
I am slipping into a bad habit of thinking I'll write an entry just before bed, and then putting it off till I'm really too tired too. I have an entry from 2 nights ago, for example, that I couldn't stay up to finish and haven't gone back to check on.
So here's a little something I've put together in hopes of creating an interesting post for you to enjoy.
Here's a hipstamatic photo I took the other day when the sun was out for an hour or so. It's the least used part of our yard, but it has some interesting parts. The weather has encouraged me to slow down on the pictures lately. The only picture I took today was one so I didn't fail on today's Project365. Dogs on the bed, my go to daily photo.
space occupied: my beloved bed, with 3 lhasa apsos (to protect them from the storm)
listening to: two sisters, by the kinks (love it)
weather: damp and rainy. no sun for days.
cooked for dinner: yummy soft tacos with guacamole
favorite purchase today: clearance scarf at target for use as bedside table cover
favorite band: traffic and the kinks
i can smell: the scrumptious peonies still
favorite colors: pink and orange. also yellow.
excited about: a lot of things! trips, visits, this other thing
looking forward to: wearing linen skirts and threadless tees
The last several days have been dull and wet. I've been using the time I'm stuck inside to plan the next two trips - Washington DC (with a side trip for me and H to New York) for my birthday, and Disney with my brother and his woman right after Thanksgiving.
It's exciting thinking of discovering new places again, even though I just did it last month. I don't think I could possibly get enough travel, and I grow more and more convinced that when Hannah is no longer my full time job, I must find a job as a tour guide. With some travel writing on the side. So many people I know act like it's the most impossible exotic career I could possibly try to embark on, but really? It's just a job. I'm not dreaming of becoming a prima ballerina at 43, I just want to travel around and show things to people. So all the harshers need to pump their breaks, while at the same time I need to do what I can to facilitate things. Feel free to wish me luck.