If you're my friend on Facebook, you may have noticed I am struggling with the tragedy of my country right now. If you follow me on Twitter you probably think I've lost my mind. But the world is a harsh place right now, and I am a sensitive girl.
There is a part of my mind that is constantly shouting out me to freak out. Constantly. To do nothing but shout and scream about these things. And to ignore everything but this. I am often convinced that this is the only answer and I should ignore everything else in my life to scream at the world.
And then every once in while a more sane voice reminds me screaming at the world will not make things better.
Luckily I have a good therapist and about 20 years of cognitive behavioral therapy practice. I called said therapist for an extra session last week and she suggested a total media black out. No news, no twitter, none of that. I said I could make promises, but there was no way I'd be able to follow that advice.
Earlier in our meeting we had been talking about art and that I've let myself forget how important that part of life was to my mental health. It was this brilliant book by Fred Babb in her waiting room that had reminded me:
So Jane suggested "Well, what if you spent equal time making art for any media time?"
Perfect. I thought I could do that.
Except I didn't Sunday, or Monday. And I could tell yesterday. So last night after all my chores were done I made some art time.
At first after I met with Jane I had some big ideas about making and binding my own amazing Mary Ann Moss style journal. I do really love that process. Then I realized that was a bit too ambitious when I haven't been making anything for a while. I grabbed a barely started journal from long ago and just started gluing or taping random things in. Last night I pulled out some markers and colored pencils and started making marks with them. The point is the process. It's the time spent in that creative and quiet part of my brain that's important. Being in the moment and in the flow is what I find healing.
It helps. It helps a lot, at least for me.
I just have to remember to keep doing it.